Wednesday, December 3, 2008
l o v e i s p a i n ♥ 6:20 PM
About three or four months ago, I was still in a really serious relationship. He was everything I had ever wanted. Smart, nice, handsome, tall, and a lot of personality. BUT, the only thing that made us get into arguments was his stubbornness. That was then I realize how much zodiac signs were so actuate, it was really scary. I learned and even though I had regret somethings, I'm growing from that experience.
After the breakup, I realize how many things reminded me of him. I had cried my eyes out for days each night just thinking about him. When others had mention about him, I begin to get teary and really emotional about it. Being the happy-go-lucky person I was, this was one of those times that my friends ever saw me so down in the dumps. It wasn't a pretty sight and I promised myself to never again do that to myself anymore.
If you're thinking that was about to commit suicide, I wasn't. Honestly, that had never came to my mind at all during those past months. Sure, I wanted to be alone, but my friends never let me be alone and it was nice to know that I have such caring friends. I'm grateful to have them in my life, but I still wanted to alone so that I could recap everything that I had done wrong instead of blaming everything on him.
Sure enough, I came out with a huge list. BUT I will not type it out only because if I did, then it would make me feel like an ass. It was a good feeling after completing this list and I finally felt more free since I had gotten most of the sadness off my chest and finally be able to move on with the life that I have left.
But what had hurt me the most was the fact that the person that I came to realize I needed in my life was never there to begin with. Some might think that I'm using him as a rebound because of my harsh breakup, but I'm not. During the year and a half of dating someone who I thought I was serious with, that one person had always popped up in my mind. I mean, sure I am not ready for another serious relationship anymore, but it finally made me realize that I missed that person in my life.
He is now busy with his own life that I am not a part of anymore. None of my friends had heard from him since he isolated himself from all of us and started his own new life. It's heartbreaking to lose a friend, especially a really close friend who now I know I have strong feelings for. Sure it took me a while to realize it, but now it's too late to say anything.
Three simple words can easily make someone happier and at the same hurt them. I can just simply go over to him right now and say those three words that I have always wanted to tell him, but that would hurt his current relationship.
I wouldn't know if he had completely forgot about me in his life and if he still has the same feelings for me or not, so I am willing to wait until the perfect opportunity and even if that chance never comes, then he would slowly disappear from my life as well.
So whoever said love is such a wonderful thing had never experience something like I have. Loving someone who had made a huge impact in your life while at the same time trying to figure out feelings for another. It's not cheating, but it's very confusing and complicated. Hey, but that is what love is all about and as of right now, love is pain. BUT, I can't wait to give it another try but this time with him.
Yeah, (love is pain)
Dedicated to all my broken hearted people.
One's old flame, just scream my name
And I'm so sick of love songs,
Yeah, I hate them love songs.
Memento of ours.
Lies~
Current mood: 
Pain
Pain Come back again soon. (: